The ‘event’ which people have parties about now didn’t bother me. But while times have moved on for many in the LGBTQ community, for the ‘B’ that’s literally stuck in the middle, we appear to have made little progress – and I feel we can’t shake off the stereotypes.
There’s also probably the whole ‘Bi Now, Gay Later’ thing going on – if you need that translating, it means many gay and lesbian people think us bis are merely on a ‘journey’ towards all-out ‘gayness’. That bloody head of mine tells me that she’ll run a mile because I’ve been straight, gay and now bi – and therefore probably not to be trusted. Whether they be inadequate online tools, lack of representation in the media or something as fundamental as the insecurities in your head because of how you think the world still perceives you, hurdles are constantly placed in your way. I should find this easy, as I’ve been here before – and when I came out as ‘gay’, aged 21, I’d had job interviews that were more alarming. She’s fairly recently become single (like me), we shared many of the same interests when we were younger and appear to still do, have been briefly chatting quite amicably and live locally to each other. Now, it’s not entirely the bisexuality bit that’s the issue here. Or something (throw in the bit about me being an alcoholic and she’ll probably block me virtually and ‘ITRW’). Being bisexual in a world dominated by the poles of ‘Straight’ and ‘Gay’ is a nightmare.Oh, and she’s beautiful, funny, intelligent and talented. It’s the fact that the last she knew of me, I was gay and engaged to another man. My ‘coming out’ as bisexual was from the position of being ‘homosexual’ for 14 years, and many people whom I knew years ago still don’t realise who I really am and think I’m gay. However much society claims to be tolerant and inclusive, trying to date as someone whose sexuality is not black or white is fraught with complications. We’re just human and would quite like a relationship, please! Do correct me if I’m wrong – but I don’t think I am.More men than women (39% versus 31%) were open to a relationship with a bisexual partner, while more women than men (23% compared to 15%) said they were unsure. Kat Van Kirk said it was “encouraging” to see people open to broader forms of sexuality, but many still stigmatize bisexuality.
Stereotypes about bisexuals being unfaithful or confused are still rampant, leading most bisexuals to never come out.
Because of biphobia and bi erasure, bisexual people suffer significantly higher rates of depression and anxiety, domestic violence, sexual assault, and poverty than lesbians, gay men, or straight cisgender (non-transgender) people.
Bisexuals also face major health disparities and poor healthcare outcomes from a lack of adequate preventative care.
But generally, the forward-facing reaction since I came out has been wholly positive.
But it’s that feeling of what people don’t say that niggles me. Having been single for nearly two years now, I’m a member of Match, Ok Cupid and Gaydar. But out of these platforms, only Ok Cupid is actually of any use to people who don’t define themselves as gay or straight.
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