" Despite what the stereotypes might suggest, women are not the only ones who think about the future after only a first date. We partake in the over-analytical, self-conscious post-date breakdown.We think about whether or not the two of us are compatible, if we share interests, could we work well together if this turned into a longer relationship?
This all comes back around to compatibility, and compatibility takes time.
It takes a while to be yourself around someone new, to get to know the other person, to give them a genuine chance—that’s why I usually suggest 3-4 dates as a good barometer, rather than a one-and-done date policy (although, there are always exceptions to the rule).
Even though it's likely not the outcome we wanted, guys will appreciate you being straight with them and they won’t be stuck in limbo, debating whether or not you want to go on more dates.
So the next time you go on a date and you’re wondering what next, what’s he thinking, or how things are going, don’t worry—he’s probably doing the same thing.
We typically struggle to pick up on non-verbal cues that would normally communicate interest or lack thereof (eye contact, body language, etc.) I am not saying you have to know if you would date the guy long-term after one dinner, but don’t be afraid to be more direct and put your level of interest into words.
If you're feeling good about things, instead of saving your "I had a great time" for the end of the evening, choose a spontaneous moment during the date to say (if you mean it), "I just want to thank you for asking me out tonight because I am having a great time!After finally working up the courage to ask you out, plan the date, pay for dinner, and so on, a guy wants to know—are you or aren't you?Don’t assume the man will know your level of interest, because we won’t.But for the most part, you already have your answer.The simple fact of the matter is, if we asked you out, we are interested. But the funny thing is, we don’t always know if the feeling is mutual.Towards the end of the date a guy would ideally say, “Hey, I really enjoyed spending time with you tonight and getting to know you. He’s probably saying to himself, "Should I ask her out now? I say this because when you hint at your expectations, it empowers both the guy and the girl to be more free in the relationship.