Hence, I’m frequently singled out by others for my accomplishments and for being a driven and “fearless” person.
Despite people lauding me from a place of good intention, I would feel mixed about being such a “strong” person (read: woman).
I would hide my opinions, unless asked to speak—even then, I would be very choiceful about what I said and how I said it. I would stay away from talking about myself or anything that would remotely suggest I was capable or in a place of power. Some would try to put me down and rebut whatever I say. That perhaps, it was just not in my destiny to be with someone in this lifetime, and I could only wish for that in my next life.It got to the point where I felt that I was turning into a brainless, empty—and if I may say so myself—a pretty-face shell. There was this guy I met last year who became highly antagonistic towards me after just three minutes of conversation, even though I was being nothing but amicable. It took a while, but I finally found the answer to my heart’s dilemma.The further I “climbed”, the harder it seemed for me to find a guy who could match my achievements.People often speak of the archetypal lone career woman who is highly accomplished yet barren in her love life, and I could see myself gradually trawling into this direction.I’m frequently interviewed in the media, occasionally TV.
(I’m quoted in this month’s issue of Her World Singapore by the way. ) Not too long ago, I went on a world trip for seven months without any companion or itinerary, basically creating my agenda on the fly.While I am totally okay and at peace with being a single (I would rather be single than be with someone whom I don’t like), I don’t want to end up as that archetype if I can have my way. Deep down, I thought there was something wrong with me as a woman.I don’t want to have a life where I have no one to call my own. Where others have no problems landing the relationship of their dreams, I seem unable to do so.For if it is really true that some guys are shying away from me because they are afraid that I would hurt them, just as there have constantly been guys who would feel intimidated by me no matter what I do (or don’t do, even), then it just means that… I try to help people where I can; heck, I’ve even dedicated my life to doing that.these guys aren’t right for me, be it as a friend or as a romantic prospect. I never try to change others because I believe it’s not our place to tell others how they should behave. I put my heart forward in whatever I do and I treat people with full earnestness and respect.Work-wise, I beat hundreds if not thousands to secure a place in a top multinational corporation (Procter & Gamble) two years before I was supposed to graduate.