Because men supposedly can’t wander into the mythical Bar (and it’s a “a woman can wander into a bar” scenario) and wander out five minutes later with a woman eager to jump his bones, women by default have greater power when it comes to dating.
Men have to compete in order to win her approval while a woman gets to pick and choose who she wants based on whatever arbitrary standards she feels like in the moment.
Every personality comes with its own strengths and weaknesses.
Because shy men and women tend to be more introverted and more observational thinkers in the first place, not taking things seriously goes against the grain of the shy personality makeup.But trust me when I say this: As much as a first date seems to matter in the moment, you have to put it all in perspective.Instead of waiting to hear what your date suggests, have a couple ideas in mind before you actually start planning with him or her.Say, “I’m not sure if this is your thing, but if you want to eat, we could try this place I like; if you would prefer to do some sort of activity, we could do a movie or walk through a museum.” By taking an active approach in dating, you won’t default to your shy ways as easily.They often get stuck thinking too much about how the other person will receive the advance instead of simply taking the plunge and going for it.
They sometimes don’t seek out their guy or girl for a second date – even when they’re still interested.
They are The Choosers, the gatekeepers to the Promised Land, cruel temptresses who taunt men by being attractive and yet unavailable.
Because sex is so much more easily attainable for women – or so the conventional wisdom goes – they have luxury of being able to define the standards which men must meet, wantonly cutting off men who are not rich, tall douchebags with square jaws and fast cars.
Off the bat, I’m thinking of the Maroon 5 song, “Unkiss Me.” The point of that song is that its singer, Adam Levine, wants to go back in time and avoid getting hurt.
But with shy men and women, the problem is often the opposite: They feel uncomfortable going out on a limb and kissing their date or making a move to begin with.
They wait for the other person to initiate conversation topics.