Post divorce dating pitfalls

You will need to talk about schedules, activities, schoolwork, medical appointments, and such. Set aside a specific time each week to exchange information, when your children are not around to overhear.Think of co-parenting as a business relationship -- the business of raising your children, and communicate how you would in such an environment. And if you feel that you are unable to communicate effectively with your co-parent, seek a neutral third party such as a mediator, family therapist, or co-parenting coach to facilitate these discussions. Responding from emotions: Find an outlet where you can express your feelings, process, and develop coping strategies, so that when you interact with your co-parent, you are able to do so without becoming emotional.So grin and bear it and meet your co-parent's significant other, remembering that you do not have to be best friends.

It is not their responsibility to take care of you.

You should have activities, roles and responsibilities outside of parenting, so that you feel fulfilled and are able to enjoy your time when your children are with your co-parent. Thinking it is your time rather than your child's time: Now that you are a two-household family system, you may feel that your time with your child is limited and that when you do have time, you want to spend it with them.

How do you put aside your history or emotional baggage, and continue to interact with this person on a regular basis?

Parenting is forever, so the question is not if you can co-parent, but how you co-parent.

Plus, your co-parent will likely figure out that a later bedtime is not a great idea when the kids refuse to wake up the next morning and eventually do so in an irritable state. Expecting your co-parent to change: If this were going to happen, it would have happened already and you and your co-parent would probably still be married. Realize that you are the last person your ex is going to listen to.

It will be more productive to figure out how to co-parent within the confines of the idiosyncrasies of your co-parent. Pathologizing issues that are related to normal child development: Children grow, change, and react in typical social-emotional ways.With over 15 years as a therapist, she is also a certified divorce mediator and helps assist clients in resolving conflicts as part of the collaborative divorce process.She is a member of the Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois and the founder of Janus Behavioral Services, LLC.Yet otherwise, "pick your battles" should be your mantra.If your co-parent lets the kids stay up an hour later, think first, does this really matter?And maybe even smooth the way to a more cooperative post-divorce relationship with your ex.